In the Garden of Life, roses stand as timeless symbols of beauty and resilience. Their delicate petals unfurl amidst sharp thorns, a poignant reminder that growth often accompanies adversity. Similarly, our journey through life is marked by challenges and traumas, yet within those struggles lies the opportunity for resilience and growth.

At the heart of this analogy lies the power of sharing our experiences, both joyful and painful. Just as roses flourish in well-tended gardens, we too can thrive in environments that offer safety and understanding. That’s where my blog and practice come in—to provide a sanctuary for individuals seeking solace and connection amidst life's thorns.

I also create a safe space, where you can share the full spectrum of your humanity—your joys, pains, questions, and prayers. Here, vulnerability is not a weakness but a source of strength. It’s a place where your stories are honoured, your struggles acknowledged, and your journey validated.

Like a gardener nurturing tender buds, I am here to cultivate an atmosphere of warmth and support. Together, we tend to the soil of our souls, fostering growth and healing. Just as roses draw nourishment from the earth, we draw strength from one another, intertwining our roots to form a resilient community.

In this garden of shared experiences, you are not alone. Here, amidst the blooms and thorns, you will find companionship, understanding, and hope. Together, we embrace the complexities of life, finding beauty even amid adversity.

So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to bloom. Together, we can transform pain into resilience, darkness into light, and thorns into roses. Welcome to a space where your story is not just heard but cherished—a sanctuary where you can bloom, unapologetically, amidst the thorns.

Blessings

Dr Barbara Louw

Personal Counselling Appointments: In-person andOnline.

Can I be a counsellor?

As a little girl, I wasn’t the kind of person who carried destitute kittens home. I had sympathy for hurting and suffering people. I remember giving away some of my precious toys to children who had no toys.

Years later my childhood compassion translated into the desire to make a more substantial difference in people’s lives. Being a young adult in the transition years to a democratic South Africa created many opportunities to help people. In my book A Sensible Vision I wrote about this particular part of our journey.

Turbulent times and the resulting hardship people endure are now rifer than in the past. In our little country, we have to deal with illnesses, natural and human-induced disasters, water scarcities, poverty, and unemployment. Murders, domestic violence, and crime make it seem as though people gave up on being humane. Healing and wholeness must start on the inside.

My plea is that we leave no one in pain. Our society needs counsellors, victim supporters, and caring people on every level, in every institution. We need well-trained counsellors in every school, church, and community organisation.

One of the first questions people ask during conversations is “Can I be a good counsellor?”. This is a powerful question to ask when you care about people because the answer can expand your horizons. You don’t have to excel at all forms of supporting people because you can focus on the areas that are closest to your caring heart.

I compiled a self-assessment quiz that should give you a guideline for your natural ability to help others.

Training offered

The team at Kailo Training Institute is committed to supporting learners to complete their studies successfully. We have first-hand experience of the challenges experienced by adult learners, especially the multi-vocational scholars.

Although the programs are presented online, and learners can work asynchronous and at their own pace no one is left to struggle alone. The lecturers are seasoned facilitators who arrange weekly online contact sessions with the learners. The lecturers are involved in the preliminary interviews, the selection process and coaching during the studies and practical work.

The learners receive a grid with all the modules they have to complete and there are additional models to assist with practical aspects such as writing skills and research methods. Even though learners can work at their own pace, there are milestones that they have to reach to ensure that their studies will be completed within the contracted timeframe.

If you are interested in studying with us, you can send an Expression of Interest today. There is a quiz available if you wonder whether you can be a good counsellor. QUIZ.

Counselling versus talking to you friend

Talking to a friend may be free of charge, but working with a counsellor will give you the cognitive and therapeutic skills to live a happier life.

When we don’t completely understand what professional counselling is, it’s easy to assume it can’t be more beneficial than talking to a friend. Like a relationship with a friend, seeing a counsellor involves conversing with someone, being vulnerable and maybe receiving advice. If counselling was only about paying someone to let you vent or chat with them, it actually would be a waste of money.

The ‘talking’ aspects of counselling are only a very small part of the therapeutic journey.

Fear, fake news and false facades

The three things that are thriving in the midst of a national disaster are fear, fake news and false facades. People try to cling to the idea that life has to go on as usual in the shadow of grave health concerns.

The reality is that we have to find a new sense of normality in a maze of anxiety-provoking, exaggerated gossip. It is hard to distinguish what is really happening and when are people exaggerating their situation.

Everything that happens is not a potential catastrophe and you don’t have to be in the centre of everyone’s drama. You are allowed to take a step back to take a reality check.

The good news is that people are resilient and much more flexible than we give ourselves credit for. We have used our innovative skills to deal with the shortage of electricity during load-shedding and now our movements are restricted. We have to make last-minute changes to our schedules because meetings get cancelled. We have to change our working hours and reprioritize interactions to fit in with the load-shedding roster.

How to get the most out of a counselling session?

You’ve taken the step to schedule your first appointment with Dr Barbara Louw. You may be nervous or worried you might not know what to do when you get to her office or connect online.

You have all these thoughts running through your head like, “Will she judge me? Will she believe me? Can she understand my dilemmas?  Will it help?” You consider postponing the appointment, but you’re in a crisis or trying to prevent more trauma.

 Maak aanlyn of in-persoon afspraak vanadag nog

"I am not broken; I am recovering."

There's nothing quite as uplifting and beautiful as witnessing someone rediscover themselves. A medical diagnosis or procedure can leave you feeling utterly shattered and lost. The emotions are raw, and the challenges seem insurmountable. Coping with the news, medical uncertainties, symptoms, medication side effects, and invasive intrusions into your personal space—it's a heavy burden to bear.

Yet, amidst it all, you still have a choice. You can choose to tenderly nurture your heart. Yes, now is the time to establish healthy boundaries, allowing yourself the space to find balance and heal. Recovery is about prioritizing your well-being, one moment at a time. It's a gradual journey, filled with small steps and daily commitments until you find the strength to extend that care into each passing hour, each new day.

On those tough days, remember, the sun will rise again tomorrow. If I could, I'd gift you sunshine and stardust to brighten your path. For now, I'll offer my prayers—prayers for your renewed wholeness and wellness as you navigate this season of vulnerability and fragility.

You are not broken; you are brave. Stronger than you ever imagined. 

We are Breakthrough Champions - Empowering your journey - Celebrating your victory!

Blessings

Dr Barbara Louw

Personal Counselling Appointments: In-person andOnline.

I am your breakthrough champion who demystifies trauma and crises because life is about more than solving problems. Life is a journey with many ups and downs as well as detours and exit roads.

Going for counselling can be an unnerving prospect in any situation where you haven’t defined your problem in your own words. The first question you can ask yourself is might I benefit from trying counselling? The answer is an unequivocal YES if you are experiencing one or more of the following awareness:

• The constant feeling of being overwhelmed
• You can’t seem to stop making self-defeating choices
• You might be stuck in a frustrating rut
• You are caught in a place where nothing you’ve done before seems to have helped
• You feel like nobody understands
• You are riding an emotional rollercoaster
• You crave a new perspective

• In My Rose Garden

  

  In My Rose Garden is an uplifting blog to encourage and inspire people who have gone through serious medical procedures, such as amputation, mastectomy or lumpectomy, and life-changing diagnoses, such as cancer or strokes. They are on the way to recovery but the road ahead is uncertain and scary.

• Managing Your Experience of Medical Trauma Step 1

  

  Managing Your Experience of Medical Trauma Step 1

  No pain is insignificant. Suffering is universal.

  Many people are too quick to say that “no matter what you are going through, someone has it worse” or “there is always somebody with bigger problems”. This is emotionally dismissive and gives the message that your struggles are insignificant and that you are overreacting. If you start to feel unheard and rejected the only way to cope is to refuse to cry for help because you try not to burden others with your pain.

  Many people might indeed experience worse trauma and post-traumatic reactions, but my concern is, how is the situation affecting you?

  The first most difficult step is to acknowledge the pain and the second is to muster the strength to reach out for help. Finding more information about your experience helps you to use learning as an art to turn information into insight.

  Here are a few practical steps to mitigate the impact of the overwhelming feelings of Medical Trauma when you have to visit a medical professional like a doctor, specialist, oncologist or physiotherapist.

  Prepare to spend a lot of time in the waiting area:

  • Load your favourite music on your phone and take earphones.
  • Something to drink – water.
  • Something to soothe a dry throat.
  • A snack.
  • Tissues and wet wipes for unforeseen situations.
  • A few extra plasters.
  • Your favourite book.
  • Your notebook.

  Prepare for your conversation with the doctor by making notes of the following:

  • Write down your questions.
  • Prepare a timeline of the pain that you experience.
  • Make a list of all the medications and supplements you are taking.
  • Make a list of your symptoms. Be specific.
  • Take a friend or family member with you to help you fill in the blanks. This visit will be an overwhelming experience and you will not be able to grasp all the information.
  • You can ask for more information and a second opinion.

  During your visit:

  • Be kind and courteous. A medical professional is a human being who chooses a career to make a difference and help people.
  • Treat the people at reception nicely. Although your visit is about you and your health a smile goes a long way to lighten up everyone’s life.
  • Use your notes to guide your questions and feedback. This will assist you to remember and share vital information.
  • Be specific and honest.
  • Use your words to describe your unique health experience and don’t assume the doctor will “automatically know” what you are going through.
  • Listen and ask questions if something is unclear or concerning.
  • Ask your companion to take notes.
  • Feel free to discuss your long-term treatment plan, as well as the side effects of medication.

  Although adverse medical conditions, like cancer and strokes, hurt the hearts of the people who help you fight from the sidelines, they care about you. You are in a situation like no one else and you are precious and special.

  If you're feeling lost, remember that The Good Shepherd will leave a flock of sheep to seek out you, the lost lamb. You are precious in the eyes of God.

  So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to find hope and peace.

  Blessings

  Dr Barbara Louw

  Make an appointment today – online or in person in Pretoria.

  Request daily inspiration

• Medical Trauma - An Introduction Article

  

  Medical Trauma

  Medical traumatic stress encompasses a spectrum of psychological and physical reactions experienced by patients and their loved ones in response to pain, injury, serious illness, medical procedures, and unsettling treatment encounters. It's the deeply personal aftermath that unfolds, triggering a cascade of complex negative emotions and physiological responses.

  The symptoms of medical trauma can manifest in various forms and intensities, including:

  - A dread of medical environments or personnel

  - Physical discomforts like pain, sweating, or nausea

  - Persistent negative thoughts revolving around the traumatic experience

  - Emotional detachment and avoidance of certain situations

  - Feelings of agitation, anger, anxiety, depression, or tearfulness

  - A pervasive sense of helplessness and invisibility

  This reaction can stem from the overwhelming stress preceding or following a challenging diagnosis, procedure, or treatment. Our hectic lifestyles often compound the issue, leaving little time for proper emotional processing alongside physical recovery.

  I understand that every patient's deepest fears revolve around feeling dehumanized and losing control. In my counselling practice, I provide a safe haven for you to share your experiences, feelings, and concerns openly. Here is no preconceived judgment, and there are no rigid expectations or deadlines dictating your healing journey.

  When I explain medical trauma, I am grateful for all the wonderful medical personnel and caregivers who step up to assist patients in these adverse circumstances. These helpers are like angels who try to make sense of symptoms, words and visual signs to offer the best of their abilities. They are the people who walk in when others would rather hide or walk out. Medical personnel often suffer from vicarious trauma because they are human too.

  Together, we work towards lightening the emotional load by addressing unwanted feelings and learning to direct the inevitable ebbs and flows. We also look at the burdensome expectations and labels imposed upon you without your consent, empowering you to reclaim your story and sense of belonging.

  So, let us walk this path together, knowing that amidst life's challenges, there is always room to bloom. Together, we can transform pain into resilience, darkness into light, and thorns into roses. Welcome to a space where your story is not just heard but cherished—a sanctuary where you can bloom unapologetically amidst the thorns.

  Blessings

  Dr Barbara Louw

  Make an appointment today – online or in person.

  Request daily inspiration

  

  This article is available in Afrikaans: Mediese Trauma In 'n Neutedopin Hallo Nadia Webjoernaal
  

  Another article is Medical Trauma Leaves You Feeling Voiceless

• My Practice and Services

  

  "Breakthrough Champions: Your Wellness, Your Victory, Our Commitment" encapsulates our dedication to aiding individuals in overcoming trauma and achieving personal growth. With over 30 years of devoted study and research, I am deeply passionate about delivering exceptional care to my clients while actively contributing to the community and my private practice.

  Within my practice, I offer tailored services to address various needs, whether it's supporting individuals in navigating personal struggles or providing coaching for transformative well-being. Additionally, I provide specialized services for the corporate environment, assisting employers, business owners, and employees in trauma relief.

  Within my clientele, there are typically three distinct groups seeking swift assistance in overcoming trauma. The first group need prompt assistance with a recent painful situation. The second group comprises individuals longing for breakthroughs following adverse life experiences, including trauma, dashed dreams, and untapped potential. Some may be grappling with spiritual anguish or navigating life-altering medical diagnoses and procedures. The third group seeks personalized yet structured programs to confront specific life challenges, equipping them with the necessary tools and skills to maintain their breakthroughs and embrace their victories along their journey.

  My proven methods yield extraordinary results in a short time, fostering irreversible growth towards wellness. No matter the size of the challenge you face, I am here to provide solution-focused guidance, paying close attention to your unique story. Our therapeutic relationship unfolds in real-time conversations, allowing for immediate care when unhealed wounds surface.

  Rest assured, your story is not burdensome to me. Throughout my career, I've guided individuals through trauma, historical pain, and challenging realities with utmost respect and dignity. Services offered encompass various levels of support, including counselling, therapy, coaching, and supervision.

   

  

  To ensure a seamless experience, appointments are scheduled 24/7 through Aquilla Wellness Solutions, our secure electronic practice management system. You have the flexibility to choose an online or in-person appointment at a time convenient for you, and complete payment, and necessary forms before your session.

  Before we embark on your journey, we establish a clear agreement to align with your needs, background, and desired outcomes. Transparency is paramount, as you receive comprehensive information regarding fees, session length, and my professional registrations. This commitment to clarity fosters a therapeutic relationship built on trust and professionalism.

  The bouquet of services includes:

  • • Face-to-Face Counselling
    • Online Counselling
    • 3 x English Counselling Series of 6 sessions in 6 weeks (online or in-person) 
      • Trauma Breakthrough
      • Trauma Recovery and Wellness
      • From Bitter-"stuckness" to Wisdom
      • 
    • 3 x Afrikaanse Beradingsreekse van 6 sessies in 6 week (aanlyn of persoonlik)
      • Trauma Agter die Rug
      • Tyd om Heel te Word
      • Skryf Jou Pad Na Heelwording
      • 
    • Bi-weekly Therapeutic Support Group (online)
    • A Self-Assessment Quizto assess whether you will benefit from participating in the Counselling I offer.

  

  Training is categorized into two streams: personal development and growth through Aquilla Training, and more structured instruction via the Kalio Training Institute. Online workshops and counselling training offered through these platforms have been successfully met.

  The formal training aims to equip individuals to support others within their respective spheres, be it the community, religious congregations, workplaces, or counselling settings, utilizing the models developed during my extensive studies. This encompasses comprehensive training in the Wholistic Wellness Coaching Model, Pastoral Victim Empowerment Model, and Christian Pastoral Counseling.

  My husband and I are deeply committed to community engagement, demonstrated through our involvement with Inter Trauma Nexus and the Association for Christian Ministries. We provide victim empowerment, ministry support, and training opportunities. You're encouraged to subscribe to our complimentary electronic newsletters, available in  English as Friends of Inter Trauma Nexus and in Afrikaans as Vriende van Inter Trauma Nexus.

  On our website, you'll find links to our social media platforms, where you can stay connected for regular updates on training programs, news, and words of encouragement. Feel free to join us in this online community.

  Please note that I do not share my client's information with external researchers; students or any other third party.

  There are fees payable for different services and training.

  

   

   

   

   

• Returning to counselling after a break

  

  Returning to counselling after a break

  Like any journey, your therapeutic journey may have starts and stops, highs and lows, departures and returns. Sometimes unexpected changes in life force you to pause the counselling and coaching for wellness. Perhaps you wanted a break to focus on another part of your life.

  Once you are ready to return to counselling, you might wonder how you should go about it. What should you say to your counsellor? “I’m back” doesn’t feel like enough. The principles and care that brought you to Dr Barbara Louw in the first place are still effective.

  Ultimately, your counsellor is not going to judge or reprimand you for taking a break.

• The reality of suicide and self-harm

  

  The World Health Organization reports that “Close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. Suicide is a global phenomenon and occurs throughout the lifespan. Effective and evidence-based interventions can be implemented at population, sub-population and individual levels to prevent suicide and suicide attempts. There are indications that for each adult who died by suicide there may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide”.

  It is reported that in South Africa 9 per cent of all teen deaths are caused by suicide. The fastest-growing age is young people under the age of 35, specifically female suicides which peak between 15 to 19 years.

  Some counsellor prefers not to use the term suicide, but rather self-harm. Self-harm is then defined as an act of deliberate self-poisoning or self-injury, regardless of motivation, and self-harm mortality is a death resulting from such an act.

  

   

  Youth are at risk because they face a number of social, economic and health challenges that contribute to self-harm behaviours, including the emotional and mental stress associated with high unemployment rates, poverty, HIV/AIDS, educational difficulties, physical and emotional abuse, parental separation and substance abuse.

  Book your online or in-person appointment today

• Trauma Is Not A Diagnosis

  

  Trauma is not a diagnosis, but an invisible wound. Experiencing emotional turmoil after receiving a life-threatening diagnosis creates an intense sense of danger and leaves a lasting scar. This profound emotional wound constitutes trauma. Enduring pain is a natural part of being human, and our resilience helps us navigate trauma over time. A wise counsellor can assist you through the difficult days. There is always hope.

  Although this journey is difficult, you are much stronger than ever imagined.At the same time, you are not alone because I am just a phone call away. I can support you on your journey. You can make an online or in-person counselling appointment 24/7.